Self-Empathy

Eric and I talk about Self-Empathy and how that shows up and what we can do to support ourselves during times that are hard. If any of you Living Connected listeners have any self-empathy strategies that have worked for you and or examples in your real life that it was hard to pull from your resources in self-empathy or empathy, we would love to know so we can share it with everyone in our Living Connected community. We would love to hear your voice in a voice memo or we can read your email. Of course this is a request if you feel safe for us to share those special parts of you. 

Being able to be present and show up for others is hard sometimes. Learning the tools, or skills or strategies to find a balance in being able to rejuvenate our cup, or our hearts, or our capacity can support self-care and or self-empathy. There are so many mindfulness practices that can cultivate our awareness around self-empathy. 

When you listen, there are moments where I have an internal dialog with my self in moments that are stressful, hard, triggering, and or anxiety driven. I explain some of the things that I say to myself so that my body isn’t so activated. It is about these small moments of struggle that we can shift our thinking and rewire our brain to have more compassion, kindness, warmth and empathy towards our body, mind and souls. It is a build up of those small moments of awareness that make that shift.

1. Listen to your body 
   1. if this is hard to do, definitely find some mindfulness practices like guided mediations, somatic dialogue, or label the sensations that your body feels when certain things happen, get up and move. Our body has a beautiful way of telling us what is going on. Listen and hone in on those feelings and needs. Our body is communicating with us every day. You could say, “Thank you body for showing up and protecting me when I needed safety. I know that must have been hard”  
2.  Reach out to other humans who you know you feel safe with, trust feel warmth and accompaniment with. It is so important to keep these relationships close and know that you can find support when needed. 
3. Recognize Capacity 
   1. The moment we can attune to our capacity the moment we can shift the heavy thoughts of shame, regret, inner critic talking to us with “I am doing the best that I can in this moment” “what do I need right now?” “What is my body trying to tell me?” Pause and breath even if you don’t know how to do this. Try and find just a molecule of grace and warmth for yourself in your breath. When we can recognize our capacity we will be better equipped to have energy to explore our life-serving boundaries, and be able to use strategies that fill our cup.    
4. Self-care and Self-Empathy Strategies
    
   1. Do what you need to do to process, move, exercise, feel peace, journal, sing, dance, listen to music, podcast, live band, read, go for a walk or hike in nature, something that allows you to let feelings move through you. These strategies for self-empathy are ways to meet our needs and support us in order to regulate our nervous system.     

Resources:

CNVC website

NVCAcademy

Aya Caspi - 8-day NVC Retreat

Yvette Erasmus

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